If you are going to study Existentialism, you will find out that its very essence is self validation. In self validation, you sort of examining your life and existence, evaluating everything in your life, measuring the unmeasurable things in your life. As a famous philosopher once said, "an unexamined life is not worth living."

In examining, evaluating and measuring your life, you will feel discontentment and emptiness. It may make you cry and feel mad.

Since child, I always spend time assessing my life or comparing my life to other people. Then I will ask myself, why am I not as good as him, why am I not loved by everyone like her?, why is she beautiful, why can s/he afford that and I can't?, why is s/he perfect? Why I am not?

Those things trigger me ponder and cry. cry. cry. cry. and cry. and cry. and cry. until my tears roll upto the sea.

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Dear Insecurity,

you are not my friend. please, please let go of me! I don't want you. I abhor you! I know I can overcome you. I know I can and I will.

Love,

jombits.

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I want to write but I am lazy. I want chocolates but I am on a diet. I want that person but that person cannot be mine.

Oh, it seems that all my wants will really not be mine.

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I missed having long entries that are hard to read. Well, that's my point. If you are complaining that my blog is long, DON'T READ. The thinsg is, I really don'tw ant anyone to read my entries even my sister who is fond of reading this site. Shet!

It is just like stripping in front of my family.

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So My Spanish professor gave me a grade of 1.5 while my conceptual photography and Comm Res professors gave me a grade of dos. Shet, hindi niyo lang alam kung gaano niyo sinira ang pangarap ko. Yah, I know I am an inconsiderate-and-GC person-that-all-CMC-students-perceived-as-journ-major-geek, fuck up! I don't care. I am happy as this so mind your own businesses!

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I am happy. Oh, that's a joke. I am not happy. The thing is, I am really sad. I don't know why.

"what is the point of living when there's no life in it at all?"