Happy 3rd Birthday to my beloved blogsite! yehey! Three years of friendship, three years of kulitan, three years of tears, three years of passion, three years of blurting out all my grudges in this goddamn world, and three years of singing in the melancholic tune of artistry. More years to come sana!

pa-cheeseburger ka naman! burger, burger!

Don't like this semester. It sucks! I just love my new found friends. They are the ones who define who I am now. They are the best. They accept who I am and what I am. No pretentions, no hypocrisy, no backbiting. They are not tagging me as the most "maarteng tao sa mundo." They didn't make me feel that, that's why I love them.

And yes, that is the real philosophical basis of friendship.

Ang pangarap ko ngayon, ang pumunta sa isang kwarto na madilim, walang makikita kahit anino ko at hindi makikita kung gaano karaming balde ang iluha ko, tapos may shield ang kwarto kaya hindi maririnig kung ano man ang sabihin ko, walang makakarinig kahit magsalita ako ng PUTANGINAMO WORLD! PAGOD NA PAGOD NA AKO!

Pagod na naman kasi talaga ako, imagine, hindi pa natatapos ang semester ko nag-uumpisa na agad, wala man lang akong bakasyon. Pagkatapos kong magpaka-alila sa mga walang kwenta at may favoritism na mga profesor ito na naman ang burden. Ewan. Nakakapagod din.

At kapag nasabi ko na na PUTANGINAMO WORLD! PAGOD NA PAGOD NA AKO! Lalabas ako ng kwarto. Wala na ang luha, walang nakakita, walang nakarinig ng sinabi ko.

Ayun, magpapaka-alila na naman ako sa mundong ito na hindi ko mawari ang ritmo't galaw at nais nitong tunguhin.

If you are going to study Existentialism, you will find out that its very essence is self validation. In self validation, you sort of examining your life and existence, evaluating everything in your life, measuring the unmeasurable things in your life. As a famous philosopher once said, "an unexamined life is not worth living."

In examining, evaluating and measuring your life, you will feel discontentment and emptiness. It may make you cry and feel mad.

Since child, I always spend time assessing my life or comparing my life to other people. Then I will ask myself, why am I not as good as him, why am I not loved by everyone like her?, why is she beautiful, why can s/he afford that and I can't?, why is s/he perfect? Why I am not?

Those things trigger me ponder and cry. cry. cry. cry. and cry. and cry. and cry. until my tears roll upto the sea.

****

Dear Insecurity,

you are not my friend. please, please let go of me! I don't want you. I abhor you! I know I can overcome you. I know I can and I will.

Love,

jombits.

****

I want to write but I am lazy. I want chocolates but I am on a diet. I want that person but that person cannot be mine.

Oh, it seems that all my wants will really not be mine.

****

I missed having long entries that are hard to read. Well, that's my point. If you are complaining that my blog is long, DON'T READ. The thinsg is, I really don'tw ant anyone to read my entries even my sister who is fond of reading this site. Shet!

It is just like stripping in front of my family.

****

So My Spanish professor gave me a grade of 1.5 while my conceptual photography and Comm Res professors gave me a grade of dos. Shet, hindi niyo lang alam kung gaano niyo sinira ang pangarap ko. Yah, I know I am an inconsiderate-and-GC person-that-all-CMC-students-perceived-as-journ-major-geek, fuck up! I don't care. I am happy as this so mind your own businesses!

****

I am happy. Oh, that's a joke. I am not happy. The thing is, I am really sad. I don't know why.

"what is the point of living when there's no life in it at all?"

I hate mediocrity. This entry may sound inconsiderate to some of you. Knowing last night that two of my professors gave me a grade of dos made me to tears. Goodbye Magna cum laude dream, goodbye. It hurts! Goodbye!

I strive hard for almost three years for that, the other dos is tolerable. I made gimmick the night before the exam but the other dos sucks! walang kwentang propesor, basta, walang kwenta. sheeet!

move on.

Two semesters to go.  Goodbye magna cum laude dream!

Thanks, thanks to Pi Sigma of UP Manila. I won, I won! 3rd place pala ang docu ko na "Dalaginding". Ang galing. Ang saya. Thank you Lord.

Thanks to Kimi for encouraging me to join. wohoo!

so there. ;)

Isinilang ka noong Marso 10, 1957. Siguro'y tinutugtog noon ang "Wooden Heart" at "My Way". Paborito mo ang mga iyon di ba? Sige nga sample, "can't you see, what i see. please don't break my heart..." Hindi ko na alam ang susunod patawad.

Salamat. Salamat. Salamat.

Happy Birthday Daddy. ;)